Let me start by saying I am a construction worker, I have tattoos, I am a man and men are supposed to be macho.....Bullshit......

My wife and I are going through a divorce, no ones fault, we just kind of grew apart. Yesterday she rented a house, today she moved out. I got home from work to find a message on the answering machine "Come on over the girls miss you and the oldest one wants to tell you about her first day of kindergarten." So I went like any good father would.

I got there and the soon to be ex had ordered a pizza, so we all ate and I talked and played with the girls (ages 5 and 3). After a while it was time for bed and time for me to go home. It hurt to begin with knowing they weren't coming home with me, but I put a brave front. I gave them bath's and went to tuck them into bed and say prayers with them. I can do this I kept telling myself over and over. We finished the prayers and it was time to say goodbye. As I was hugging and kissing them I realized this is not how it is always going to be. I just cant come over to the ex's and tuck them in every night. But I kept up a Brave front. My oldest gave me a hug and a kiss and said I Love you Daddy. I kept up a Brave front. My youngest gave me the biggest hug she ever gave me and said "I'll miss you daddy, Please dont go" she just kept saying it over and over. But I kept up a Brave front. I said I don't want to but I have to and I will see you both this weekend. And I kept up a brave front. One last kiss and I had to go. As I was putting my boots on to leave I couldn't even say goodbye to the soon to be ex.

I practically ran out of the house and I broke down and cried. I cried all the way home and as I sit here in my empty house right now I am crying. It may not be the "Macho" thing to do or even tell about but I guess I am not as Macho as I thought I was.

I have never felt hurt like this before in my Life. My daughters were my life and now they are no longer with me. They wont be here to run into my room on a stormy night and say " Daddy I'm scared can I sleep with you". They wont run up to me when I get home from work and give me hugs and kisses. And they wont be here for me to tuck into bed every night.

Grown men dont cry.......Bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!